Learn to be Lonely
by Calasstria
Summary: When you've isolated yourself for so long, it's easy to be alone. But things change.


Sooo... This is sort of a sequel to "Here in the End." If you haven't read it, the basic gist that the OT4 move into a cottage together and live happily ever after. ((I refuse to break them up --;; Their friendship is amazing and I hope the actual manga maintains that dynamic.))

Enjoy!

...

He sat there in silence drinking his tea and trying in vain to tell himself he wasn't feeling lonely

He sat there in silence drinking his tea and trying in vain to tell himself he wasn't feeling lonely. He was a man of honor, a fighter who had always preferred the silence and the isolation as opposed to the racket and ruckus of daily life. It kept him focused. It made him strong.

So why all of a sudden, did he desire to hear the sounds of scuffling and flailing about coming from Lavi and Allen's bedroom curtsey of the Bookman's predisposition to mischief making? Why did he suddenly miss Lenalee's incessant pestering to join them for a "family breakfast" instead of leaving him alone to train without interruption? Why did he wish he had Lavi to get angry at and chase around the exterior of the cottage over a stupid practical joke? Why did he actually miss hearing Allen's annoyingly boyish voice while the youth was singing quietly in the shower, thus disturbing his meditation? Why did he really miss sitting in front of the fireplace a few feet away from the other three, feigning indifference as Lavi told them tales of countries abroad?

The tea cup was set down with a hard clank and Kanda sat back into the couch with a heavy sigh. No, he didn't miss them. He had just grown accustomed to their presence. He was a man of routine. He was missing his daily agenda, not his housemates.

Or so he told himself.

It had been a week since Lenalee left to visit her brother in China. Lavi had been gone two weeks prior to that to personally investigate the political unrest upsetting a number of nations in Europe. (Something to do with the new formation of a united Germany.) Allen had left three days ago to pick up some important packages from another town, assuring the swordsman that he'd he back by that evening.

As the sky slowly darkened, Kanda shifted in his spot on the couch. But he wasn't worried, by any means. He hadn't received any word from Lenalee or Lavi via golem nor post, and he was wondering what was taking the Moyashi so long to get back. But that wasn't out of concern.

Or was it?

No, no _no_. He was _not_ worried about any of them, thank you very much. He knew Lenalee was just fine with that crazy older brother of hers. And Lavi… he could take care of himself. He was too cleaver to get himself killed by a bunch of greedy politicians and their goons. Allen looked harmless, but he'd seen enough of his "darker side" to know that the kid was a force to be reckoned with.

So why was he feeling so…

"Don't say it," he hissed to himself burying his face into his palm. "Don't even _think_ it! You are _not_ a weakling. You _do not_ need company or companionship. You aren't… I'm not…"

_Lonely_.

He heaved a heavy sigh, before letting out a dry chuckle. The hell? He never thought he'd actually want people around. Sure he was living with three former exorcists in close quarters, but then again, the Order had been about as intrusive to his privacy and personal space as they were. Yet while he was always surrounded by people at the headquarters, there was always an invisible wall between the samurai and them. He had built it as a safety net to protect himself from silly emotions and fragile bonds. It worked for the most part, as most learned to avoid breaking that barrier.

But no one in the Order could ever get him to come out of his seclusion just to lie outside on a crisp summer eve to gaze at the stars. No one in the Order could force him to actually try (and surprisingly enjoy) a meal that wasn't soba. No one was ever bold enough to snuggle up beside him on chilly winter nights with only the fireplace and a large blanket for four to keep them warm.

Yes, somewhere along the line, he's let his guard down, and unconsciously allowed three pesky, but warm-hearted souls into his life. He'd just never noticed until they were gone. What a pain…

Kanda sat up and prepared to unfold the couch for the night when there was a soft knock on the door. Frowning, he walked over and opened it to reveal a half frozen moyashi standing at the doorstep shivering from the snow and the ice that had fallen earlier that morning. The ever-present golden golem flew past him in a blur, heading inside for the warm and comfort of the cottage.

"H-hey, there K-K-Kanda," the boy greeted through chattering teeth. "S-sorry I'm late, bu-but I was d-de-de-delayed back in-"

Kanda didn't even let him finish before he grabbed him by the collar and hauled him through the door slamming it behind them as he snarled, "Idiot! You should have at least sent me a message ahead of time so that I didn't have to stay up waiting for you!"

Allen removed his coat, brushed off the snow from his hair, and smiled sheepishly, "I'm really sorry. But you didn't have to wait up for me you know."

"Che…"

The white haired exorcist shook his head, "I'm going to take a shower. No, maybe a bath will do..."

"Che," Kanda smirked lightly. "Works for me. You wreak something fierce."

"You don't smell any better yourself, Bakanda," Allen snapped.

"At least I don't smell like those drunkards at the local pub."

"Oh please, don't remind me," Allen winced heading for the stairs, "I had to stay at this one inn last night… bloody nightmare. Reminded me of one of those places Cross fancied."

"Whatever, just hurry up and bathe," Kanda sniffed waving a hand dismissively. "I'll go reheat some stew for you."

"When I get out, there's a letter from Lenalee saying to call her as soon as we get the chance. She says we should contact Lavi as well as there seems to be a delay in the post he sent from Europe."

"We'll call Lenalee and that baka Usagi as soon as you get cleaned. Now get going already."

"Kanda."

The Japanese teen stopped and looked over his shoulder at Allen who was smiling quietly by the stairs, "What Moyashi?"

Allen's smile remained as he replied, "I missed you, too, Bakanda."

The swordsman didn't have a chance to reply as Allen ascended the steps and into the bathroom down the hall. Upstairs he heard the teen singing one of those annoyingly cheerful songs he liked to sing, but instead of annoying Kanda, it actually made him snort in amusement.

"So annoying."

...

I hope that was ok. Reviews are welcomed :)


End file.
